A middle aged man with a professional bright smile of leadership in his field entered my office. His perfectly shaped body dressed in the latest fashion could be easily used for any tabloid magazine. His elegant walk and gestures accompanied this perfect picture and his deep voice which echoed throughout my small office. Although his presence was seductive, he paid full attention to me. I wonder what is going on here?
In a few minutes I explained to him, as I do to all my clients who I am and how I work. I clearly explained that I am not a classical psychotherapist and that I do not work by books although I extensively read and research. I told him that I work based on my personal experiences that I encountered over the years and If he is willing to commit to working with me I guarantee that he will achieve results of his liking. While I was explaining myself and my role in this arrangement his seductive mask slowly started to melt and in the less than 10 minutes, he started to cry and said: “I am so confused. I don’t know who I am anymore.”
With compassion that matched the depth of his confusion, I simply asked him: “What does it mean to you to be confused?”
“I do not know” with a perplexed look on his face replied my client.
“If you do not know” that is not confusion I simply explained and added: “Confusion is: I do not know but I want and/or should know. Therefore, if you do not know than you are not confused at all.” While I was still talking, his intelligent eyes sparkled with eager to hear more. And I did explain my knowing that at the end of our session clearly resonated with my client.
In our current society we are all conditioned to develop a role that we easily identify and perfectly play. We even adapt a pattern of behaviour that gives us a role in which we are required to work with and consequently we also assign roles to others that correspond to our role. Our role/s gives us usually a comforting sense of identity. However, over time we ultimately lose ourselves in them.
Today, like never before in written history, more and more people find it challenging to automatically identity themselves purely based on the role/s in which they are assigned by themselves in the first place. I explained to my client if we allow ourselves to let go of a belief that we should or need to know who we are than confusion completely disappears. Then and only then we enter a state of peace and clarity based on our knowing and not on pre-established functions. Therefore, defining ourselves through reprogrammed common wisdom based on the role/s we play, we limit ourselves in our knowing and clearly add to more confusion who really we are…❤️🌟